N3XT

Camo flagellation

2006-05-01T16:19:00.000-07:00

It's no wonder that in Vancouver Canada there are so many civilians walking about wearing military camouflage. I started wearing Camo when I was 13 because I was at war with the world that encapsulated me, one I didn't belong in.

With all the implosions and explosions going on around the world that it's no wonder the protests people make in North America take a different form than, say, students in France.

Conscious or unconsciously, about, I'd say, 20% of those milling about in public are adorned in 'you can't see me' apparel. It would seem this 'fashion' trend is actually telling about how the public feels when gas hits $1.18 per litre, when the government is no longer about being a public corpse (ie made up to represent everyone), it's simply a tool for the wealthy to control and manipulate the poor for their material gain.

I propose that the Camo wearing people are aware of this, and likely unconsciously are tuned into the fact that short sighted, Money first attitudes are an affront to their right to be individuals. So they, and I react, peacefully for now, and do not be surprised when it gets ugly later, even with 'docile' Canadians.

We are very aware, maybe more so than Americans, about what is going on. We can't jut pick up and move, this is a global situation and it cannot be avoided by running away. So instead we dress in the hopes of going undetected so we can live our own lives of 'freedom'.

There is hope with this awareness, however the majority are hooked in and going to be pulled down to co-habitate with Davy Jones 20,000 leagues under the sea. China and India and other far sighted communities know material gain is not the way ahead. They have much further sights and know that instant revenue now will not equate to longevity later.

With gas going astronomical, people will stop driving, believe it or not, and start moving out of the cities. I personally hope this happens fast over the next 5 years so that the Olympics here break the city of Vancouver so we can get back to being real humans and not the stuck up snots we're perceived as.

Vancouver does not deserve the Olympics, but then the Olympics are nothing close to their supposed mission. This city and it's people will be worse off. The Woodwards renovation project will have apparently no low-income housing, it will all be condos. Where will all these poor people go when there are no affordable places for them to live?

This city is going the way of the locked crystal palaces. You can see in but you can't get in or have any. For Canada, once a great socialist country that respected the people, we've been sexually infected by the US and dying because of our association.

Stephen Harper acts like he has a majority government and the rest of the politicians float around in their own excrement instead of actually standing up and putting him and his ilk in their place.

Through conflict, those who care will be re-united to each other. Those who accept the fascist word of politicians and corporate bullying will be rolled over. Considering hte level of educated in Canada, I'm surprised that so many have been so willing to not confront the 'unseen enemy'.

The only way we can fight is by making solid personal choices that aim to harm those who persecute us. By not buying gas and oil, by not listening to corporate music, by not eating corporate 'death-sentence' prepared and preserved foods, by taking the role of military upon our own lives instead of relying on the government to protect us (as we know it can't), we are all fighting back with the only tools we have at our disposal without actively harming our fellow citizens.

You can't see me, I'm not really here. I'm out there where you can't touch me

SuperModel is no longer SuperWhore

2005-09-02T10:42:00.000-07:00

"Supermodel Tyson Beckford is stepping off the catwalk for good - and blaming Sean (Diddy) Combs for making the fashion biz ugly" http://www.nydailynews.com/news/story/342456p-292395c.html

Someone got tired of selling themselves out.

It's greed. Crass commercial greed has NO STYLE. This is VERY apparent with Sean John crap, as it is with Phat Farm's crap shoveled in by Russell Simmons, and more. It's all brand whoring, and come on, this will all fold over on itself and hopefully kill off the participants from thinking they are creating fashion.

Even non 'celeb' brands whore themselves so much I'll never buy their clothes even if I find I like some.

Having FUBU or Ecko sprawled across my chest on an awesome sweater will never happen. Names are NOT fashion. Look at all the people who willingly wear shirts that say Nike, Adidas, Puma.. really.. They aren't in it for fashion or personal statements, they are confirming their sold-out status to the fake status game created by the corporate capitalist world.

Fashion actually takes time, commitment and creative personal investigation.
You just can't buy that or glean it from a magazine.

New Orleans is Sinking

2005-08-31T04:53:00.000-07:00

It is President Bush's fault for lack of preparedness and lack of care as this WAS reported as a massive event capable of serious damage.

The extent to which New Orleans is under sea level has been documented well, so why wouldn't this have been moved to your nations #1 priority?

That decision was made (more made by not being made) by your leader. To say your leader is not responsable, would be right but not in the way you're thinking. He's not responsive much either on things that aren't going to make him or his friends rich. Presumably he knows more people in the coffin industry than in the sand-bagging industries.

Questions about penetentiaries just touch the surface of the problems when a federal government stops caring about the humane aspects of LIFE in favour of what are cash priorities.

Not only that, but realistically, look at the people in Western society today. Do you really think most of the current generations of Westernized people are prepared to fend for themselves after being fed a diet of TV and cheetos for 30+ years?

When you don't get out of your house and discuss the issues of real importance to your local communities, substantial things like inevitable flood disasters stop being of communal alarm and are 're-prioritized' to things like presidential blow-jobs or scapegoating Cindy Sheehan instead of the real issues at hand.

The fact the home guard is not at home where it should be because your leader is unable to call a draft for his illegal war just shows how truly weak and vulnerable he's left your nation to NATURAL TERRORISM.

A war on Nature has already been declared, and now fighting nature OVER THERE has brought it OVER HERE.

Big surprise. Global warming is not a fad, it's a serious terror group, You can't fight what you can't see or cluster-bomb.

A Father's Perspective on Iraq (A reply to)

2005-08-19T09:52:00.000-07:00

re: A Father's Perspective
( http://www.opinionjournal.com/editorial/feature.html?id=110007122 )

"she is just beginning to understand the enormousness of the character of soldiers who knowingly put their lives at risk to defend our country"

Your country is not defending anything, it's attacking anyone who has resources to support the collective greed of your American lifestyle.

I can't see how anyone can be proud of that, let alone believe that they should have the same perspective or support the same ideological values their children have.

Not only that, but by calling those -fighting for America- 'Fallen Heroes' is really disgusting because it uses language to put a blanket over hte dead bodies and in itself changes their final rest as individuals and changes them into patriotic symbols. Symbols available to the MSM to manipulate and programme into their woven fabric of one large deceptive alternate reality.

I think we are all aware everyone has unique experiences in life, and may enter the US MIlitary for different reasons, however the primary reason people enter the military seems to be the habit of a class of people encultured to economic subservience to hold up a shared identity that makes the small larger by association.

No one likes to feel small and powerless, this is typically where guns (and HumVees) and other war technology come in, to intoxicate those with little power into a false sense of personal mobility. but I digress.

The main point here is that by calling all those who die for the US in Iraq 'Fallen Heroes' is to accept that there is no individuality when it comes to soldiers.

It's also very important for those who really care, to take a much closer look at the infrastructure of the US economic system and how it not only affects you and your countrymen and women, but also ALL those outside your borders (You are not alone).

But of course, you really don't care what happens to those other people as long as you're living high on ignorant consumerism.

Don't base your understanding on blanket observations, (All soldiers are good and all have the same benign intent...), consider other points of view and entertain the possibility your sons and daughters, of who you're so proud, have actually been out there killing fathers and daughters.

They have been out in the field being busy ripping apart other peoples families and stealing resources from other peoples lands so that you can watch 'Cops' tv-repeats and drive 1 block to the corner McDonalds.

Evolution?

2005-08-14T08:15:00.000-07:00

Considering this planet is speculated to be about 4.6 billions years old. I think that gives us 'humans' less than a glint on one grain of sand in the evolutionary hour-glass.

Of course, we'd like to BELIEVE we are the most important, best thing to come along (akin to Americans Vs the rest of the world). Given the odds, (and pollutionary evidence) I pretty much doubt that.

We will probably be taken out for our disregard for the system that gave us life. It's pretty sad, I hope as a whole we wake up and realize our actions will determine how long we will live.

Intelligent Design? It's probably integrated into the genetic battles which occur everyday (in every living thing), fighting to determine the best design directions. How could there be only 1 design when each entity is it's own sole designer?

hmmm. This all seems to me to be an attempt to squash critical thought... That which is the key to all that is wise and mature. Instead ID, it would appear from over here, is praising the lock of confusion and ignorance.

Natural selection may well have it's 'choices' pre-made...

Who could (or might) find this Blog...

2005-08-02T23:45:00.000-07:00

So far, I'm fairly confident the readership of this blog is zero.

That's actually really nice to know, because I've no intention of advertising it, joining some crap like friendster or livejournal to promote it, or kiss enough ass to rejoin a community where I left my extensive journal making efforts for just about over 5 years.. to repost these.

My friend whom I live with is the most likely person to find it, as it's a shortcut on my desktop, and as she occasionally surfs on my machine in the living room, I wouldn't be surprised.

It's totally possible that a number of people from my past who have letting go issues might also find this blog while cycling their messed up minds in a formulaic pattern that never shifts from the player piano tune 'always on my mind'.

Perhaps intelligence agencies looking to store dirt about me after my many letters to officials complaining about corporate destruction and corrosion of my Canadian nations sovereign hold onto itself. By all accounts, Canada will probably be lost to the US as it enacts it's death throes and the world community attacks it. (I'll be living in Wales or Australia if anyone may still possibly be looking for me)

Of course, I do not have a stripe of self-importance in me. I know no one is reading this and because of that, I have the literal freedom to propose almost anything. Or to tell the void about the realizations that have come through to me.

***

I'm in such an odd spot these days. I'm attracted to someone, but I have no idea if she's interested back. I've sent emails and received replies, not negative, just friendly. As far as I'm concerned that's as much as I could hope for. I've sent an email that pretty much expresses how I feel, and that I know it's all first level stuff that could and maybe probably should be swept away by the ocean at my feet.

I guess though, you never really know if you can swim in the water if you don't slowly wade into it and see how friendly it is. It doesn't help if one doesn't know if there are sharks or huge oozing jellyfish, yet courage is really all that is needed, that and not spazzing about in the water like a fool.

I wonder, after days of not seeing her, if I will feel the same when I see her next, tomorrow most likely. Though I've asked myself this every time and I feel the same. You know it's bad when you have to work on yourself to NOT be interested, fighting the urge to let completely go like a moron to the kiddie pool. The inflatable sharks are just as dangerous...

Another thing that has been plaguing me for almost 6 years, is the right I have to talk about myself. I've been messed with by a few people in my past and now I wonder continually if I have a right to have an opinion or idea and put it forth. And of course, holding these back only adds to the problem, being even more 'socially-challenged' that I may have been prior. I have more effective candor with my friend Keir while sitting in the wranglers tent speaking nonsense or doing cerebral word games that transcend any possible hope of being tethered to sanity.

I really hate to consider what others may think overhearing any of this. Of course I really don't care when my own maintenance of mental balance hangs on the thread pulled from a rapidly disappearing shirt.

Anyway, I made a small gift for this person of my affection. Another person made her a bracelet, and it looked great! Gifts are nice, but really, they do get discarded or put in a drawer later. What I really value are the hugs I've had, and if I can get another hug for this present, that makes me so much happier.

Maybe one day she'll read this, maybe not. Maybe I'll be off somewhere else working on who knows what. My generalist tendencies promise that things will not always be the same. I've been toying with so many ideas lately as to what other areas to work in. I'm really tired of computer work, tired of the clients especially and the seriously bad things that can happen.

Once I get this business flying, I will not be the one running it. Instead I'll be off learning technical film equipment or working on a technology to streamline the film industry. Taking much time off to build an underground home in Wales, Diving in SE Asia and other places, playing music live at parties around the world, and having my true friends around and that one irreplaceable person near me as often as possible.

Dreams huh. Or just plans for the future. I choose to plan.

0 comments, 0 thoughts+1

2005-07-31T04:21:00.000-07:00

Letting go is free falling into the unknown without the knowledge of how to swim or which direction is up.

We are thrown into each new moment with apprehension and without a map, yet we find a way through in a new direction directly depending on how much trust and faith we have in ourselves.

I’ve had a pretty quiet weekend so far, it being 3:50am Sunday morning. I’m just about to head to sleep, after a day filled with working out (to burn off the pile of excess energy I’ve stored the last week working on film and tv shooting locations) and reprimanding myself for not letting go of the desires I’ve been having for a few months now.

There are a few desires I’ve been clinging to in order to give myself a direction, but by doing so I’m directly contributing to my failure of ever having such. I need to let go, be myself and really stop letting my ego make me out to be an ass, especially to people I don’t know.

I guess that’s part and parcel of having a passion furnace internally installed with a faulty timer that turns on and off quite often in what seems to be a random manner. Well aside from when I am in the presence of someone that I’ve become enamoured with. I have to ensure I do not hold myself back, instead just cut loose and enjoy any and all immediate moments with her.

What else can a person ask for in life? I can’t know the future, and I don’t want to know it. I do know what I desire in life, but I can’t bring myself to pretend to be someone I’m not in order to fulfill that. I’m sure she appreciates that as well, if she were to know how I feel.

I hope tomorrow I get in touch with some family members and an old friend. I’d be even happier if I received a call or email out of the blue from the person I’m thinking about, that I’m desperately trying not to think about, even though I do enjoy thinking about her knowing that only the now and the moment is what’s worth anything at all.

Love is manufactured today in industrial zones, in non-recyclable packages. Yet I haven’t much more than a hand-made note from my own heart, preferring to avoid malls and hucksters selling lies and cheats to win the hearts of others.

It all just seems so fake. Give me now, today, real life, and if the universe is kind, the opportunity to get to know this woman better. Off to sleep.

OMG what a joke

2005-07-11T21:37:00.000-07:00

Yes, here is a chronicle of a part of a persons life that takes the down turn on the sketchy rollercoaster of life.

So much crap these days. Let me first say something that's come to my awareness just now.

People hide behind myth, they hide behind the mass images that have echoed out about themselves, and this actually gives criminals the opportunity to hide themselves from personal harm in many cases. Of course this pertains to those with power and influence over myth making machinery (in this I mean the mass media). I am referring to, obviously, George W Bush and cohorts (plus others guilty of mass genocide, such as Karadzic and Mladic in Srebrenica).

This also pertains to those who 'capitalize' on their own myths and start tuning them to their own needs. I was just on the set of 'The L Word' this last Thursday and Friday overnight, where Russel Simmons was doing a presence.

It just really reminded me how these people have taken something legitimate they may have once done, and then proceed to manipulate and ride out the mythic echoes of their past actions. Hey, I'm sure it's been done in the past incredibly, by Warriors who managed to survive fierce battles, or by Caesar who kept the busts of his appearance at a young age even while he was elderly and dying.

I'm just wondering how safe this world is to live in when the majority of people are living in the televisions version of reality where myths pass as real and now. I swear, as I think about this, I really don't understand why anyone wears 'mythic' clothing. Along the lines I've always thought, but in a new way, these 'designers' propagate themselves by having other people feel the strong need to harmonize, and become Voltron, with the Mythic cause.

It seems incredibly contrived to me that Russell Simmons is now playing the Yoga card, I mean get real, it's about looking cool and following mainstream than it has anything to do with being real. While I can appreciate his accomplishments with Def jam, represented through the movie Krush Groove, it's not reality, it's a falsified reputation card. A way to further promote a reputation, amplified well beyond it's listening area.

From where I stand Mr. Simmons hasn't done anything of note for a very long time. CLothing lines are ultimatelly meaningless when they are about selling the name, not about presenting creativity or soul. If you have to put the words phat or soul on your works, they stop being unique and start being mainstream bleah.

It's so about time to start ripping out these industrial complexes of thought, spray-filled with asbestos acting as a real soul. I suppose this is just a problem with the way humans think and perceive. It would be nice though if one day soon (not likely) humankind would wake up, realize that the media perpetuates hate (myths about terrorists, which governments create and manipulate for their own gain) so much more often than positive messages.

It's come to the point where positivity has become passe, cliche and yesterday.

Anyway. My life, the not so glamorous ever-fascinating myth-missing antics of Kallen, has been filled with a pile of drama that I personally don't need. I wish my life sometimes were a TV show, so that it would be over in 30 minutes. This piece brought to you by PharmaNoodle.

I worked on the L word, got home Saturday morning at 5:30am and realized I had still an appointment for my computer business at 9am, so I stayed awake and went to that. All went fine and I got paid alright for it. I was done at noon, but then I realized that while I was dizzy and phasing in and out of visibility, I needed to stay awake. I went over to another client who required a format and reinstall. SOMEHOW I formatted the D drive and not the C drive. The D drive on the computer had all the users business contact info, personal techiques, etc. Not replaceable information.

While I have many times in the past asked her to make hard copies of the data onto CDR and paper, she never did. So while I was so out of it in my headspace without sleep, I neglected to do the backups before I started. Until this occasion, I've ALWAYS done this with clients, to be cautious and pro-active in the redundant activity, and ensure safety of data.

Long story short, I took the drive to a drive-data-recovery specialist because none of the programs I have were able to find a scrap of the missing formatted data. This is going to cost over $400. Only recently have I managed to get some savings in my bank account, and now this happens.

I cannot explain very easily how much this feels like being guillotined in half. I work so hard, yet I get fucked over and over and over. Yes, I've gained more experience and will now be much more a fascist about people doing their backups to CD on a REGULAR basis. This was half my fault, and more than half the users fault for keeping extremely important data in only one location.

Let this be a lesson to you as well. Do your data backups right now.

PS, and btw: I should also note I'm not writing the first part of this blog because I wasn't invited to the 'cool kids party' after the L Word shoot. I wrote it because trend whores piss me off.

Even if i ran my own clothing line, I would not be caught overtly promoting/wearing it on a television program. We all see enough advertising already (20 minutes of theatre-screen ads before War of the Worlds for but one example), and Russell's presence alone would be enough for people to learn more about him and go check out his 'gear'. It disgusts me.

So much this week has made me feel like vomitting continuously and profusely

If I could find some rest

2005-06-29T09:23:00.000-07:00

Mostly what affects my state of mind are thoughts about how, for some reason, my ideas and feelings are fodder to be laughed at and discounted. This in regards to a thread I've started on Threadless.com (yeah, the irony).

It's either because I truly have lost my mind, or I am feeling the results of many many years of thinking/exploring/knowing who I am and what's important to me so my self-awareness and ideas aren't accessible by others. I try to err on the side of humility.

I certainly am not the kind of person to back down, but I still have a million pounds of self-doubt at times holding me down. There's a girl that I like, but while I have no interest in being obsessed, my heart and occasionally my mind seem intent on making my life a living hell anyway. I feel like a stalker on the inside, and that just wont do. I guess the only thing I can do is go for the prize. If it's rejection them I can let my psyche come to it's own awareness and chill the fuck out. If it's positive, then I suppose my heart knew something I didn't.

I live with a friend right now who is awesome and I enjoy her company, but from the same base of feeling, I have little to no intimate interests, it's all gone 100% friendship. It all changed after having been almost literally forced to share a room with her when I first moved back to Vancouver. What I'm afraid of, is that my heart might just keep playing this game.

Can you see how this messes with my head? I really have no idea how to resolve this. I totally feel like Woody Allen in that I need my own space. The only real difference is that I'm not a mega-rich film-maker (as yet), so I share accommodations.

It's not that I dislike having a girl around, it's a totally positive experience most days of the month... But I feel like I'm having an off day all the time when my schedule just seems to e co-opted by hers. Probably just because I've always felt like my drives and desires have been co-opted and stolen my whole life and I really just want to have my own space. A home base where I can return to and relax my mind in a manner that suits it.

I know the world is about give and take, but mostly giving because the more you give the more you get back. I believe that, without a doubt. I have spent a considerable amount of time alone, and while I like having time out with friends or having a girlfriend over, I need an equal amount of time to just chill and let my mind turn off.

Perhaps my being a Pisces explains part of this.

In regards to the girl, i'll look up her email and ask her out. I'm not really going to hope for much, but I think being honest is much less cowardly than having these feelings and not expressing them.

Maybe, like Woody Allen, I need a FT therapist. Ranting and spewing in here where no one reads is probably not going to help much.

FINE -rant-

2005-06-14T12:06:00.000-07:00

I just recieved a fine for $173.00 because I didn't have enough zones on my fare ticket. What the fuck! They can't be as expensive as Toronto, who's fines are $50, they have to be more than 3 times expensive. Bad enough in Vancouver there's no off-peak fare.

It's Rush Hour from 5:30 am to 6:30pm which makes the fare $3.50 to go anywhere of any distance. That's $1 more than the fare in Toronto with less than 3 times the geographic distance.

I've heard the argument there are more ppl in Toronto and that's how they keep the prices down, but this has got to be wrong. Vancouver has 3 or 4 times less the transit vehicles, no large subway that staff anywhere from 2-5 employees per station, and seemingly an equal numbe rof ppl ride the transit in Toronto as they do in Vancouver, volume wise. I've ridden both services enough to gauge this well, on and off peak hours. Trust me, Vancouver does have noticeable peak Vs off-peak periods.

So now I've got to fight this retardedly priced ticket, which I got because I actually chose to ride the transit instead of drive (nice incentive there eh? If you forget to get enough zones, you get fined the amount of 2 months of unlimited bus access passes). I use my mtn bk most everywhere I go, including going into Richmond, which I did yesterday. Choking on the fumes of semi-trailers, SUVs, and non-maintained shitboxes.

The priorities of the City is to make a profit, not support and assist it's residents. If you own a car in Vancouver, you'll know EXACTLY what I'm talking about here. You know, a fine is okay if it's written with reason, $173 IS NOT REASONABLE AND MAKES ME WANT TO SMASH TRANSIT VEHICLES TO GET MY MONEY'S WORTH.

Needless to say, I'm fighting the ticket and will not relent to paying it. I actualy paid a fare, so WTF is the deal with fucking me over for $1. I seriously reconsider why I live in this city, regardless of how beautiful it can be, I'd be better off moving up the coast or to the Island.

Banks, or Who really profits from your money?

2005-05-31T20:42:00.000-07:00

I had yet another conversation fraught with the knowledge that some entity other than the bank I deal with, is managing my money.

My question is simply this: Why can't the bank manage it's own ABM bank machine transactions?

It would certainly make it possible to go in and find out when the cheque will clear, as in today's practice at TD CanadaTrust the tellers have NO CLUE. Even worse, my online banking web site account shows me what the total amount will (could) be when everthing clears.

This amount is NOT the total that I have available to withdraw, and I'm not given the amount I have available.

I still seriously question the need for banks today. I don't honestly feel safe keeping my funds in their care. I'd rather do what an old gold miner did a hundred years ago. Put everything into gold, melt it down and cast it in the shape of an ugly sculpture and spray paint it black.

It would be much safer and not subject to monthly bank acocunt charges. The interest I make from keeping under $100,000 in my account makes having one pointless.

Right now, if I have a problem with something I put into my account in the machine, I have no clue how to get it resolved. Not only that, but should we be concerned as to what the hell is going on behind the scenes here?

When I get a cheque, I should be able to get it cashed IMMEDIATELY. It's energy converted to currency that I've earned and I have a right to NOW. the bank holding this money for 15 days makes them a LOT of cash at the end of the day as holding this collective bulk of money rolls through their machines and they lend it out for a profit.

It's my hard earned dough, not theirs. I'd rather lend my $ out and make a proft on it. These guys are making tens of billions, while I'm still fighting to make my own self-sufficent lifestyle. If and when I need a mortgage or loan, I'm going to have to prostrate myself for their approval, why is that, after they've made such profit off me and my money?

The fact that there's a second contracted company behind the scenes whom I've never even met just makes the evil feelings intensify as I recognize the deceptions going on. I have a feeling that such is only scratcing off the surface layers.

I'm investing in mental and physical tools to allow me to do things, and the time to wield them. Much better than making already wealthy people more comfortable while they re-inforce the economic caste system around me.

Beauty Student is Secret Drug Queen?

2005-05-26T23:03:00.000-07:00

Schapelle Corby caught supposedly trafficking weed

Get real.

I find it incredible that any government on this planet would actually believe in the security at airports, enough to put down a decision regarding a persons life. (now 20 years, which may as well be life for a 20-something student.)

Among most people, it is common knowledge that most drug smuggling that happens on airplanes is initiated by those who work with the planes. How many times has it been shown then forgotten in the news regardless of 'terrorist prevention technologies'?

Because Schapelle Corby winds up with pounds of weed in her bag does not immediately denote she had smuggled it. There's just too much room for error and people who traffic drugs aren't typically the smartest.

Who in their right mind would donkey drugs into Indonesia, most people are well aware of their death penalty and caning policies. Aside from the archaic and stone age mind-set these represent, almost anyone that travels internationally is aware and given knowledge about the consequences of what they import. Like bringing fingernail scissors into the US.

I'm sorry, but a beauty student? Not likely. Even if she had, this planet has grown so small that other countries MUST give room to citizens from other places, who must be judged by those in their own country of origin and legal binding. We cannot have foreign nations executing people at will, if they decide to do so, then they will not likely be allowed to participate in the global economy. Yet, we have Guantanamo Bay without international repercussion...

The other fact that Marijuana is considered so heinous and dangerous... I must ask where that comes from??? It must be from the fanatics who lead America. America, the country which forces the agenda for the rest of the weak countries around the globe who receive their own daily kibble imports with gifts of reduced caloric tariffs and high-protein commercial exploitation.

This situation is far too out of hand in today's world. When will human people finally relax, chill out the dictators permanently and establish true freedoms for themselves and stop enforcing their ideals on others. It is of my opinion that we all MUST, for the good and safety of ourselves as well as all others, respect and accept the differences of others.

If those differences lead to policies of torture and killing, then of course they can no longer be tolerated. I refer specifically of America and the role model it presents itself as, to the smaller less friendly (in honest presentation at least) nation controllers/leaders.

If Indonesians want to be killed and controlled, then fine. However, their leaders globally have no right to kill or torture people from outside their boundaries.

When it comes to killing (see post on huffingtonpost.com Stanley Williams the Crips co-founder by Trey Ellis) the way a nation treats it's offenders reflects the attitude of the country as a whole. America would seem to be one of the most violent and unforgiving countries regardless of it's so -called Christian majority.

Most people deserve the chance to grow, change and make a difference instead of allowing public bloodlust to reign. To execute is to be weak. To be unable to maturely and intelligently understand humanity and leadership. While ancient generals would execute those who would not follow orders (read: Art of War by Sun Tzu), this treats people as elements in a machine. We know today that people are much more than just cogs unless jammed into a mold and kept ignorant.

Fortunately in Canada, we have been given the right to learn and grow and to understand better if we choose to. Many still choose not to , which I will probably never understand, instead choosing to watch imported US television for 40 hours a week. Each individual across the world has the opportunity to grow, to understand and create their own cultural milieu. Some (1st worlders) more fortunate than others who must realize they hold more freedom than most, yet that knowledge gets diluted by enslavement to the corporate money machine.

People choose to be cogs in the machine. Nothing wrong with playing a part, however ask yourself where this machine is going and what is the end product of running it?

Find your voice amidst the din of fascism because no one is going to give it to you. Many will, and do so successfully on a regular basis, subvert and co-opt the voices of people like you. Indonesia and America are but 2 culprits in this, they need to both be challenged from within and brought up to a new enlightened age of humane respect.

If not, well.. Enough people will get tired of it and put an end to it. History has shown change is an unstoppable fact of life. People inevitably make mistakes, and grow from the experience. Jailing people because they make poor or harmful decisions is not a strong policy, it's a weak cowardly form of sweeping problems under the rug.

There are global Dust-Rhinos under the rug at this point.

What needs to be

2005-04-07T00:55:00.000-07:00

I wont go on much tonight, but i will say that the Universe really needs to help out a bit. My bike, which is my main mode of self-transportation, has completley worn itself out. the crank and chain and worn down and stretched out. How i feel some days, but while i often recover, my bike gears will not self-repair. :/

I could write a lot about some of the latest realizations and enlightenments, but not tonight. I've been very busy with my projects and will continue to be. Opportunities come and go, ideally the good ones will bring me along for the ride.

ANyway, I am asking hte universe for $2500. some of which i need to use for new glasses, because these 'temporary' contact lenses are over 5 months expired.. they give me headaches and i can't afford replacements. I don't want my eyes to wear out like my bike has...

This reminds me that i need to file my taxes. I'm at a total loss as to how to figure them out, i honestly hate filling that stuff out. Note to self: Hire personal book-keeper and secretary.

I also hope that the person i recently sent an email to will reply and be interested in mentoring my project. I need some proper guidance, i'm tried of all the pussy shit going on from people around me. People just can't commit or say what their intentions are or are not. I hate that so much!

i got a new Koi from the Island a few weeks ago. beautiful. The Koi farm was pretty cool, but way smaller than I imagined. I plan to have a much bigger koi farm that includes a natural vegetation based filtration system. i need real-estate so my fish can grow to a proper size in a proper pond. here's to making things happen.

Here's to dreams into reality.

Goodnight, see you when i wake up on the other side. Whichever side that is.

-Kallen

I'm unsure which I prefer more; simple or complex things

2005-01-25T23:07:00.000-08:00

I've been reading "The Media Symplex" by Frank Zingrone. I found it at a place I go to when looking for software to buy and re-sell. Oddly, this book was sitting there, out of all the other junk in the place. It's like the Universe said 'Hey, I know you need this, so here it is'. Perhaps Greeks would have said it was a gift from the Gods.

Anyway, I've read quite some pages of Mcluhan, and Frank Zingrone was a colleague of his. This book is fantastic because it really lays out all the things i've been thinking about lately.

Zen, Corporate destruction of all social life, media cluelessness, order in chaos, new information technology (of whichI'm developing one), and a lot more. The core message is that people today are so inundated with the fact that reality is so complex and inescapable. Therefore people have turned to anything that makes the complex simple. Cults capitalize on this.

Ouila, television sets incredibly base stereotypes of life tightly defining within narrow confines, something that is inherent in the technology of television (as compared to the technology of oral communication, books, and the internet).

So far, the biggest connection is that people buy, buy, buy because they are trying to fit the televised reality, mainly because they are afraid of traversing the actual complex reality. People are so f*cking lame, I mean most intelligent people know this already, and even some of the awareness-retarded people are knowing of the fact and yet retain their revel in it.

I truly wonder what kind of order is going to come out of all of this madness. We're ripping apart the living ecosystem of the planet, yet we are surprised when there are huge mudslides, tsunamis and arctic icebergs breaking off and killing off species of penguins. Seems to me, the sometimes intelligent human species MUST accept life as complex and flow with it. Being a simpleton chickenshit isn't really an option, yet the majority of Americans are just that.

How many Americans travel to other parts of the world, yet expect the other cultures to not be different, instead be homogenous to their own culture? I'll take a safe bet at about 95%

I sincerely hope nature becomes the biggest terrorist and takes out the United states. The sad part is, from the direct results of the actions of Americans, everyone else on the planet is going to suffer as well. Sounds somewhat analogous to something else the US has been doing more intentionally internationally.

I've also recently read 'No Logo' by Naomi Klein. A great book, but when read with 'The Media Symplex' you might start to understand how and what is allowing such terrible things to continue to hurt other humans. Humans we should be treating like our brothers and sisters, not as an industrial resource.

All you have to do is re-watch 'The Matrix', and see that these aliens are actually other humans using the power source of other humans to produce the things the society demands we have. Whats sad is that the Matrix film #2 should have been as insightful as the first. Perhaps, I suggest, it should have shown the agents and those things operating in the background as slowly self-imploding like America is.

Neo represented a hierarchical element, a top which others look to for discovery. In fact, the true power is that any individual has that very same power to change alter and control reality. What it takes is to stop and see what is really there, no matter how complex. There is no way to 'read the matrix' as they presented in "The Matrix' because it's wholly complex and any 'reading' of it creates an isolated defined view.

Life and variety should be embraced, as should the fact that one will never know anything for certain. Celebrate defining, un-defining -- learning and unlearning. The ebb and flow of electric life. Zen. There is nothing that can be truly seen, only that which sees you through your own experience and sensoral memories. In this, I truly believe you and I can do ANYTHING. It depends whether you choose to empower yourself, or let others de-power you for their own gain.

In this, for example, the Iraqi people will have more luck defining themselves than the US will by imposing it's idea of freedom (read: religion of consumption) upon them. They have more to lose and more to gain by standing up and telling the US to step off. The bigger a machine gets, the more complex it becomes and the more fluctuations of stability occur.

America will rip itself apart. This can only be a good thing for the rest of the world and humanity.

Beyond Evil

2005-01-16T11:19:00.000-08:00

This wondrous B movie offers action scenes the same way Rocket RobinHood did. I give this a .5 * just a bit lower than 'Lovely but Deadly' which had better locations. Did this film ever actually scare anyone? Laser beams coming from eye sockets directly installed to focus the evil green energy of EVIL?

Old VHS tapes can be a great way to waste teh early mornings, though i'd rather be out on my bike, it's just a tad too wet in Vancouver this morning. Instead i'll check this next film on the vhs tape, Home Bodies. No idea what this is, but looks as intriguing as a Trip to Bountiful. Did i mention I studied film for 3 years in University? It all comes down to this.

Still TOS'd on IAMBMEzine, but i haven't emailed a request for 'forgiveness' yet. It's great when you get in a 'fight' with a member on teh TOS panel for a community. You know who gets the short end of the schtick.

Much like this HomeBodies flick (so far, old people being forceably relocated), once you get accustomed to living in a space, you don't want to change and re-adapt to somewhere else. Security is a wonderful thing, but like walking away from academic Film, there's always something new to be learned by going somewhere new. Still, i have yet to find a community like IAMBMEZINE where there are so many interesting people (and annoying, but they are usually ignorable, unless they are on the TOS panel or a 'friend/ass kisser' of the community founder).

Once step out, beyond evil into something else. Whatever it is, I don't believe in good or evil, only choices that lead to positive or negative environments. People choose their actions which lead their lives down paths that reach intersections of malevolent or benevolent directions.

Thankfully I don't live a linear life, I do my best not to get attached so that I will choose pathways without the effort to force anything into being.

FUIE -First Public Blog off IAMBME

2005-01-15T01:26:00.000-08:00

Hello public Blog world.

Thank you IE for crashing my 40 minutes of blog introduction into the void. You'd think i'd learn and type everything into neat txt docs abd paste them in after. I just can't force myself to be that festidious or whatever.

I usually keep my blog on IAMBMEzine.com, and have done so since 99, but well.. I've been TOS'd again and frankly i hate the politics, and the politics hates my invesitigative, unPC curiousity for exploring ideas.

enough of that. I'll post here occasionally as I feel a need to share thoughts into nothingness of the internet(s).

Always,

Kallen